This piece was written as a social media reaction to a “Chicago Sun-Times” review (here) of Marriott Theatre’s current production of “Mamma Mia!” and is published with the author’s permission.
By Cassie Slater
I’ll start this by saying, reviews are reviews. If you read ’em, you’re dancing with the devil. You may like what you see and you may not. I read them because I’m a spaz and I can’t handle not knowing what’s out in the universe regarding my person.
I’ve been called lackluster. I’ve been called a budding star. I’ve been called the best in the show. I’ve been called the worst in the show. I do a little dance with the devil every time, digest the words and eventually (good or bad) they fall away.
We’ve had one review this time around that I just can’t shake. The pulled quote that’s ringing in my ears is:
“Theresa Ham’s character-defining costumes make the most of the many “real women” figures on stage, just as the gold and silver spandex outfits outline the perfect bodies of the terrific chorus dancers…”
Theresa’s costumes are beautiful. Truly.
The thing that’s confusing are the quotes around the “real woman figures” juxtaposed with the “perfect bodies” of the dancers. I would argue that every woman on that stage is a “REAL WOMAN.” I also would argue that mine, Danni (Smith’s), and Meghan (Murphy’s) bodies are also perfect.
I’ve spent almost all of my 36 years disliking the body that was given to me. Too tall. Too curvy, too early.
At best, you can call my relationship with food flawed. At its worst, you’d call it destructive. I’ve lost 65 lbs. gained 40 lbs. lost 50 lbs. got pregnant. Lost the baby weight. Got a wallop of postpartum depression and gained all of the baby weight back and then some. Then lost some more.
I’ve subsisted on nothing but skinny cows and Miller Lites (and was told how amazing I looked) and then rounded a corner where I fed myself with whole foods and felt strong and healthy. I’ve beat myself up for almost 36 years because someone, somewhere, was telling me I wasn’t perfect. That my body was something that deserves quotation marks. That if I lost a little more weight, maybe I would get the roles I wanted. Or “cross your fingers that they find a tall guy…or you probably won’t get cast.”
Cut to this feminist celebration of the love women have for one another and their offspring. Rachel and the team at The Marriott found three tall (all 5’9″+) women, with killer voices, wicked comedic chops, and a chemistry that only comes along once in awhile. That’s the story. I was feeling mighty beautiful in my spandex, standing next to these two knock out women.
….and now I feel bad. And it makes me feel bad that I feel bad. And it makes me feel bad that the likelihood that I’ll pass my cuckoo body image down to my daughter is pretty strong. And it makes me feel bad that even if I don’t, there could be someone writing a review (a woman no less) who implies that her body isn’t perfect.
So, I write this long rant to say this (because the mama bear in me has to): Every single woman that inhabits the Marriott Theatre during this run is PERFECT and REAL.
Tall, short, athletic, curvy, flawless skin, dry hair, manicured hands, cracked cuticles, brown, white, black….all perfect, all real. And yes, the costumes are gorgeous. Because Theresa is good at her job and she had some gorgeous bodies to costume.
#mybeautifulbody #bekind #thinkbeforeyouspeak
This website’s review of Marriott’s “Mamma Mia!” may be read here. Submissions to the Compositions section of ChicagolandMusicalTheatre.com are welcomed. Please send them to Producer@ChicagolandMusicalTheatre.com.
Andrew Mansour says
February 21, 2017 at 9:08 amDear Cassie, beautifully stated piece.
I am so sorry that you were made to feel bad. It is no one’s position to criticize your appearance. It does, however, sound like you have, or at least had, a not-so-healthy relationship with food. Body image notwithstanding, it would benefit your life greatly, as well as the life of your daughter, if you were to address the root of your issue with food. Trust me, I could tell you stories about my doughnut days that you wouldn’t believe! If there is anything I could do to help you get on the right path, please let me know.
Jack Hickey says
February 21, 2017 at 8:18 pmAndrew – did you not read or understand the point of the article? That, whether or not Cassie has issues with food, she is perfect AS SHE IS! AND she is kicking ass in the show because she’s an actress and inhabiting the part with her perfect body.
Cassie says
May 7, 2017 at 1:34 amAndrew — I appreciate your response. I’ve taken a long time time to digest (forgive the pun) what you’ve written and feel ready to respond. You are right, I have had issues with food, and I continue to have issues with food. I’m a work in progress. The progress I’ve made so far…has been done in honor, not only to myself, but to my daughter. My response was not meant to drudge up the old “doughnut days” with everyone on the internet. In truth, I very rarely eat doughnuts (now pizza….. that feeds my soul). I think it would be silly if I wrote this kind of thing on the internet for everyone to see….before having dealt with the very real circumstances of living in my body. The thing is….we were good in that play! So, dang, good. THAT was the story. Not how I feel about my body. Not how I look standing next to someone else. The three of us were funny (really funny) and we sang the crap out of that music (better than most) and we loved and the audience felt that (and they would have felt it whether we were a size 2 or 12). While I appreciate your offer to get me on the right path….rest assured, I’m there. I am on the right path.
Tracy says
February 21, 2017 at 10:09 amBravo!!!!
Jess Kenyon says
February 21, 2017 at 11:43 amDamn right! It’s hard to be body positive no matter what your shape or size, because we have been taught to hate ourselves for so long. Well, I say so long to that! Good for you for choosing your voice to speak out against body shamers. Good for you for embracing yourself. Good for you for doing what you love and being brave. I’m on this journey, too girl, and especially as women, we need to lift each other up. I stand behind you and I am lifting.
MonaLewis says
February 21, 2017 at 11:47 amPerfect! You speak for many women, not just actors. Always harder to swallow when another woman evaluates our body-worth. Hope Heidi at Sun Times rethinks her writing about bodies in her next review. Discuss the costumes not the comparison of actors bodies.
Susan S. says
February 21, 2017 at 12:10 pmWhen I was younger, I was a cheerleader and I played tons of showgirls and scantily clad musical theatre and comedic roles. And every time, I thought I looked fat in my uniform or costume. And I saw girls, much thinner than me, pointing out their flaws and starving themselves or hitting the gym a few more hours a day after practice/rehearsal/class.
Now, I’m kinder to myself, and the increase on the scale shows it, but the struggle is still very real. I would love to be able to fit in that cheerleader uniform that I once thought I was too fat to wear, but I realize that my value is more than whether or not I look good in a bikini.
As much as I loved this article now, I wish I had an article like this back then.
Be kind to yourselves, ladies. Your really are all beautiful.
Trina says
February 21, 2017 at 2:24 pmYou are beautiful and if I was in your city I would be there cheering you on. You give joy, you counsel, you cheer up, you make a few hours easier – you are a musician and you make my heart sing.
Doug says
February 21, 2017 at 5:38 pmMs. Slater, you say in your piece: “I read them [reviews] because I’m a spaz…”
“Spaz,” short for “spastic” is an offensive word and is unacceptable, the same way “retard” is; I don’t care if you don’t mean it that way. I lost any sympathy I might have had for you when I read this.
Cassie says
February 23, 2017 at 1:04 pmOh boy. The last thing I wanted to do was offend someone with words. That was the very reason I wrote this piece in the first place. It’s no excuse, but I am an incredibly anxious person and truly behave spastically, I was making no judgements on anyone but myself. But, I certainly understand how words hurt and I sincerely apologize if I offended you. I also want to make clear, that the piece was not to garner sympathy, but to draw attention to how we use words. Just as you did. So thank you. I will be much more careful with this word in the future. Best, Cassie
Taxman711 says
February 24, 2017 at 12:46 pmHave you all lost your sense of nuance? How is pointing out, in a review of a visual medium, the difference between the look of characters and chorus members “body shaming”? It is understandable how you became sensitive about the remarks, but in relation to the entire review, it is irresponsible to proclaim that the reviewer was promoting shame. Those dancers work incredibly hard to look the way they do. It is unique and attractive. Which is seemingly why you were cast in the role, because you look different… and from the context of the review it is apparent that what the critic meant was that this was understood from a design perspective, realized and executed in an effective way, and the costumer made everyone look their best.